A NOTE FROM NATHAN TO MOM

I've been thinking about my mom everyday...every morning when I wake up, when I'm making my first morning coffee, driving to work, walking out to the shop to talk to dad about some job, eating my lunch, driving home again, kissing the girls and tucking them in for the night.  Then, I wait for sleep to take over.

I keep turning over stones in my mind.  But one thought I always come back to..."Thank god, she has done this before".  19 years ago you were a completely different person. Your first fight with cancer changed you to your core.  You became a much stronger woman.  You stared at yourself long and hard and decided to make serious changes in your life.  You started living a much more healthy life.  You started running and feeding your soul on an entire different level.

Last night I was out running, churning through these thoughts.  Once again, turning over the stones, looking for answers or reasons.  Why?  How can this happen again?  Every thought kept bringing me back to actually being thankful that cancer had previously entered mom's life.  I thought...Wow, how lucky she was to get cancer a long time ago.  What if she never had cancer?  Where would she be right now?  Would she have changed her life style so drastically?  Would she have had all those findings and self discoveries these past 18 years?  Would she have been that "on top" of her doctors, and medical follow ups?  Would she have also been on top of my father's health like she has?...would he have found out things much too late?  If my mother never got cancer 19 years ago, this could have gone undetected for a lot longer, and she would be in a very different position...potentially, not as healthy, or strong minded.  This could have been a complete disaster, ultimately taking both of my parents down.

Thank you cancer for entering our lives.  Thank you cancer for potentially saving both my mom's life and probably my father's life.  Thank you for giving her the tools to now fight you once again.  Thank you for allowing my mother to become who she is today.

My mother is that great momma bear tending to her cubs...continuing to teach us how to be strong...how to stand fast, and defend yourself and your family from the negative world.

I am forever grateful for who she has become today...and forever grateful how she got there.

I love you Mom,

Nathan